Samの英語チャンネル

Not sure if creative or cringey.

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the Tokyo Olympics has suffered setback after setback ever since their postponement last year. Between a majority of Japanese people thinking the games should be cancelled, and top officials making embarrassing remark after embarrassing remark, it’s been a bumpy road.

Even recently, it was declared that the Olympics will not allow overseas spectators, resulting in a huge financial loss and thousands of empty seats in the stadium.

However, in an unexpectedly smart move, the Olympic committee has announced that they’ll tackle this problem in an unconventional way. Rather than having the seats between the few spectators stay unfilled, open seats will instead be occupied with body-sized waifu pillows.

▼ Will this be the average audience member for the 2021 Olympics?

While anime-girl pillows might seem like a strange choice at first, spectator-safety committee chairman Mr. Yome Oreno explained the situation:

“We took inspiration from other countries using cardboard cutouts at their own sporting events. The spirit of the Olympics is all about cultural exchange, so this is our chance to show the world the Japanese take on the idea.

“Additionally the costs were minimal, since we were able to purchase used, unwanted pillows from secondhand shops.”

Examples of discounted, forgotten waifus included Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop, female Ranma from Ranma 1/2, and perhaps most ironic, Narusegawa from Love Hina.

▼ I guess we didn’t keep our childhood promise to never forget her after all….

One concern that’s been raised is the possibility of lewdness from the human spectators sharing neighboring seating with the pillows.

Thankfully, those worries have been addressed. Select pillows have been installed with microchips programmed to scream “Kyaaa, hentai!” when touched, aiding Olympic staff in dealing with perpetrators.

While actions of up to Class-2 lewdness will be permitted within the stadium, anything Class-3 or above, including hand-holding or accidentally tumbling into pillow cleavage, will result in the offender being thrown into horny jail for the duration of the Olympics.

▼ Originally, perpetrators were simply reassigned to the Piccolo-pillow section,
but then everyone started getting in trouble on purpose to be sent there.

Dragon Ball Heroes is literally why I made this dakimakura like this, in 2018. And yet, I've had a few people express to me that they weren't happy I made Piccolo's stomach like this, instead of how I usually draw it. No big deal, but whatever. LOL pic.twitter.com/Xs0LWntEjn

— ConceptCat (@conceptcatart) March 17, 2021

While anime waifus will make up a majority of the filled seats, there will also be idol pillows, shiba inu pillows, and sentient vegetable pillows as well.

When asked why, Mr. Oreno had this to say:

“The main purpose of the pillows is to brighten the athletes’ moods, to make them smile. And frankly it’s impossible not to smile when you’re looking at Carrot-san. I mean, just look at it! Isn’t it so cute. I just want to rub my cheeks on it. Gaze at its smooth orange body. Peel it and put it in a salad!”

▼ Mr. Oreno was then swiftly bonked on the head and taken away to horny jail.

Carrot-san pic.twitter.com/nmAmK8gz9Z

— Waffeul (@Waffeul_) September 10, 2020

So what do you think? Will the body-pillow strategy protect spectators and breathe life back into forgotten waifus? Or will it end up another governmental gaffe, like last year’s council on self-quarantine strategies headed by a hikikomori?

Let us know and remember to have a happy April Fools’ Day!

Source: April Fool’s!
Top image: Flickr/Michael Ocampo, Pakutaso (Edited by SoraNews24)
Insert image: Flickr/C. Fountainstand, Flickr/Clyde Adams III
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Source: SORA NEWS24